A couple weeks ago, I got the opportunity to sit down with my pastor. He was very kind to check in on me, and our conversation covered many topics. One particular topic was related to hearing from God ... specifically, what do you do when you think you’ve heard from God, you receive what you think are many confirmations of that Word from God, and you walk in faith of that Word from God ... but that Word just doesn’t come true ... No reason, just asking for a friend ... what should she do with that?
His answer was from 1 Corinthians 13:9, ‘we know in part and we prophesy in part’ ... the Bible says that even when we receive what we truly believe to be a prophetic Word, it is only in part ... we just can’t possibly comprehend what God fully intends, even if God wants us to get it.
[heavy sigh] I just want to ‘get it’.
Verse 10 does give some hope, though, as it continues with ‘but when the perfect comes, the partial will be done away ... for now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face; now I know in part, but then I will know fully just as I also have been fully known.’
I totally know, in my Spirit, that this is God’s answer to me when I ask about all that has happened with David. If I just stop with what I see has happened and try to match it up with what I hear and/or how I feel we were being directed, it just doesn’t make sense to me ... the mirror is indeed dim ... but when I allow myself to extend the reference of time and believe that what has been promised is still yet to come, it ALL makes sense ... Oh, how I long for ‘The Perfect’ to come ...
Pastor Rich then took me to Psalm 73 ... I can’t say that this Psalm was one that I was really familiar with (which is a bummer because when your Pastor takes you to scripture in your Bible, your hope is that the page he turns to is filled with notes and highlighter ... not so much) ... I was not really familiar with this chapter, but I wish I could say the same for its theme ... it starts with a complaint ... ‘Surely God is good to Israel, to those who are pure in heart’ ... Surely God is good, right? Especially to those who love Him, who seek Him, who have spent their life trying to do His will ... Surely?!? Anyone else ever have these thoughts, or is it just me? The next several verses basically continue with similar sentiments ... God, where are you? What is going on? My feet have slipped and yet the arrogant prosper ... The wicked succeed and are free of burden ... God?! The case against God continues all the way through verse 16, which says ‘all day long I have been plagued, I have been punished every morning ...’
Whew ... WAY too familiar with those sentiments.
But my pastor’s point in taking me to that Psalm was not to point out that I and the Psalmist have similar ‘issues’, as well as the same questions and complaints for God, but his real direction for me was to keep reading verses 17-28. Verse 17 continues ‘... TILL I entered the sanctuary of God, THEN I understood their final destiny’. The next verses continue ... ‘Surely I WILL place them on slippery ground, Jill ... Surely they will be destroyed and swept away ...’ and then we see a change of heart for the Psalmist ... ‘My spirit was embittered, I was senseless and confused YET YOU ARE ALWAYS WITH ME, you hold me by my right hand ... you will guide me and counsel me' ... I will guide you and counsel you, Jill.
And in his revelation of how great his God is, the Psalmist is overwhelmed with praise ... ‘whom do I have but you, oh God ... The earth has nothing I desire, my flesh and heart may fail [I may feel weak and helpless and even broken hearted], but God is the strength and my portion forever. Those who are far, WILL perish ... He WILL destroy those who are unfaithful, but as for me, it is good to be near my God.
Pastor Rich’s point was what a shame if we were to just stop at verse 16 ... If we stop there, nothing DOES make sense ... Nothing is fair, nothing is right, nothing is just ... we ARE left confused and disoriented ... Frustrated and brokenhearted. But there is more to the story ... there IS more. My heart started beating faster as I received that Word to what I know God has been telling me, that there is more. For a while now, whenever I’m in His presence ... through worship or Bible study or even just a conversation with Him or about Him ... everything makes sense. But when I step out of that, I’m so confused, it’s truly almost instantaneous. When someone asks me how we’re doing and I have the opportunity to tell them how good God has been to us, it all makes sense ... but when I focus on what all we’ve lost and the chaos that surrounds me, my feet start slipping and the darkness closes in fast ...
‘All day long, I have been plagued and have been punished every morning, TILL I entered the sanctuary of God, THEN I understood ...’
This week has been crazy ... I met another young Mom who lost her husband a few years ago, I checked in on another friend who lost her husband last year, I learned that another friend just lost her husband in August (also to brain tumor), am praying for close friends who are seriously fighting the H1N1 virus, praying for another friend whose brother is in critical care with a 'mysterious infection', and went to calling hours to support friends who lost their daughter tragically this week. It would be so easy to give up ... to just stop at verse 16 and close the book ... and you know that satan tries all that he can to get us to do just that and say ‘I don’t get it, God’, or maybe if he can just get us twirling in disorientation with ‘surely you take care of your people, don’t you ... surely you can’t let this happen any more’ ... Or frustrated with anger, ‘when will the wicked no longer succeed?! When God?!? Do you even care?!’
OF COURSE satan doesn’t want us to read verses 17-24 ... he doesn’t want tragedy to lead us into the sanctuary of God, that's just crazy ... he can’t risk us understanding his ‘final destiny’ ... he knows it, but he certainly doesn’t want to be reminded of it ... for if we would keep reading, we would surely know that the earth has nothing that we desire, that God is all that we need, that this world offers us nothing but what makes our heart and flesh fail ... If we were to keep reading, we would learn that God is the strength of our heart, or as The Message says it ‘You're all I want in heaven! You're all I want on earth! When my skin sags and my bones get brittle, God is rock-firm and faithful. Look! Those who left you are falling apart! Deserters, they'll never be heard from again. But I'm in the very presence of God— oh, how refreshing it is! I've made Lord God my home. God, I'm telling the world what you do!’
‘But when the perfect comes, the partial will be done away.’
I guess that’s where I’m at right now ... longing for ‘The Perfect’ to come ... for the partial to be done away ... to be face-to-face and to know fully, as well as I know He knows me ... Can you imagine? For His presence to be enough, our portion forever ...
Isn’t it good to know, though, that as we continue to wait ... in this crazy world ... isn’t it good to know it doesn’t stop at verse 16. Friends, don’t stop at verse 16 ... read on ... the best is yet to come ...
It is good to be near my God.
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My Dear Precious Jill, I feel the pain of losing David and only the Lord can take the hurt away and He will in time. He is your comforter caretaker and all You need. May He wrap His wonderful arms a round you when you need Him A 93 yr old friend told me this week she had a vision of the Lord and Heaven and she said "Was so Awesome she did not want to return" she believes the Lord is preparing her for death and now she won't be afraid. Was very good for me sometimes I think of leaving this earth and it scares me now I have no fear and want Jesus to come soon and very soon. But so many are indifferent to the Word people I love and meet along the way. So our ministry is to witness and pray. You have such a Mission Field and you have a testimony to share as no other. I see Darcy Griffin struggling between hospital and home and I think Jill was there and He carried her thru He will do the same for them. I will pray for Peace, Joy, and Strength for you have a great responsibility to those precious children and those you minister to. Keep Pressing On "The King is Coming" Love Norma
ReplyDeleteJill, I agree with your friend Norma. I also want to thank you for taking the time to write this post. It will help me greatly with losing Brooke. She is with our Father and David! I can only imagine . . . Please call me if you need anything even to talk or have lunch (614-917-7402). I love you!
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