Did you happen to watch the television coverage of the miners being rescued from the collapsed mine in Chile? It was hard to miss the news announcing the long-awaited rescue after 69 days underground, but I was also captivated by the actual rescue process. I was heading to bed as they were getting ready to bring the first miner up, but in the preparation process of getting everything ready and doubled checked, I fell asleep! I woke up so disappointed that I had missed the first miner out, but was soon drawn into the next rescue ... and the next ... and the next. Each time one of the men would appear, they were welcomed into the arms of their loved ones and then the entire crowd would break out into song, singing the Chilean National Anthem ... an amazing flood of emotions as you watched and celebrated each one ... I just couldn’t get enough.
One thing that really impacted me was how they chose the order in which the miners would be freed ... the ones who were in weaker condition ... physically, mentally or emotionally ... would be out first, while the stronger ones would be last. And it sounded like this order was determined by the miners, themselves! Can you imagine?! I’m sorry, but I’m afraid if I had been a part of that heroic group and was told we would be rescued (after being underground for almost 70 days!!), but that we’d have to go one at a time and the strongest would go last, I’m pretty sure I’d starting faking a cough. Seriously! Can you imagine how much love those men had for each other to put one in front of the other, not knowing if that one person in front of them would be the last that could ever go up the ever-fragile tunnel out?! Do you call that faith ... love ... selflessness ... raw courage ... or plain insanity? Wow. What was even more astounding was the response of the families to the news where their loved ones fell on the list. As they interviewed the different families, the correspondent would ask them what it was like to know their family member was number [blank] on the list, and more than once I heard something like this ... ‘being the last just means he’s one of the strongest and I am so proud and so thankful for that’.
Being the last just means he’s one of the strongest ... Sounds like an ‘opposite world’ concept to me.
At the same time these miraculous rescues were going on, our school was going through a really hard time. In two weeks time, we lost two Dad’s at the kids’ school ... both sudden, both painful, both overwhelmingly confusing to my Spirit. One afternoon, I was on my knees before God just crying my heart out to Him ... Jesus, we just need you ... you are our only hope in this world of pain ... No more crying, no more pain right? ... Jesus, it is your promise to come back for us, but can’t you just come now?! I know that many do not yet know you and you’re waiting on their hearts to choose you, but can’t you come for SOME of us now?! For those of us who are so ready to go Home ... Come Jesus ... Come ...
And then I had this revelation ... Isn’t that kind of what He’s doing? ... ‘coming for SOME of those who are so ready to go’ ... the many we seemed to have lost over these most recent months are all just getting the first shuttles out ... or capsules up, however you want to look at it!! While we have no say as to the order of the line in which we find ourselves waiting, could our position in the line imply the strength to stand there? ... I believe it might. But, if I’ve accepted anything these past several months it is that I certainly don't feel very strong ... tired, weary, overwhelmed maybe ... but strong?! Not so much. At least not on my own, any way ... what’s funny is that whenever I start to feel ‘strong enough’, it’s not long before God shows me again how truly ‘unable’ I am. In true ‘opposite world’ fashion, it is in my weakness when I feel most hopeful and victorious. Does that make any sense, at all?! It does to Him ...
1 Samuel 2:9 helps shed Light on this issue of strength ... ‘It is not by strength that one prevails’ ... Zechariah 4:6 clarifies further with this Word from the Lord as His response to how the temple would be rebuilt: ‘not by might, nor by power, but by my Spirit’ ... Isaiah 40:29 says ‘He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak’ ... That verse implies weariness and weakness are prerequisites to His strength ... There is no doubt of our true source of strength as we stand in this line waiting for our own rescue.
We actually all have a lot in common with those miners and the situation in which they found themselves ... maybe our darkness was created by tragedy in our life ... or maybe it's created by mounds and mounds of sin as we walk through life relying on, loving and believing in things other than God ... things that have shown themselves to be untrustworthy and unreliable. Whatever the cause of our darkness, eventually our foundation will be rocked and our lives built on anything but Him will collapse ... it is then that we realize we can never dig ourselves out of the wreckage ... but there is a way out ... one way ... and Jesus is it. I’ve been reading a lot of the Old Testament since my trip to Israel (so hungry for history of The Land!) and have been amazed at how God’s heart has been broken not just by His Creation who has chosen to follow other gods, but even by those of us who have accepted other gods/religions as legitimate alternatives for others devotion and affection. God’s Word is FULL of warnings and even pleads for us to not allow idols and false teachings in or around us ... the belief that there are many ways to Heaven may be politically correct, but it does not change the Truth ... and Truth, alone, is what sets us free ... John 14:6 ... Jesus said, ‘I am the Way and the Truth and the Light; no one comes to the Father except through me’.
My mind keeps going back to the moment each miner stepped out of that rescue capsule ... emotional ... inspiring ... gives me goosebumps! But I can’t help but think how much greater is the singing in Heaven when a new Believer steps out of their darkness into life with Jesus ... any how even GREATER is the song each time a new shuttle of loved ones arrives Home, into the arms of a Heavenly Father, a Loving Brother and likely a whole family who has been patiently awaiting their loved ones rescue ... can you imagine walking into the loving arms of Jesus ...
Rescued, indeed.
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Thursday, October 28, 2010
Friday, August 27, 2010
Weeding the garden ...
I do not have a green thumb. As much as I love flowers and plants, they just don’t seem to like me ... at least for any length of time. To be honest, I think they fear me ... or maybe it’s that they SHOULD fear me, I’m not real sure??!? This evening I took some time to work in my gardens and was just AMAZED at how everything struggles to survive in the summer heat, EXCEPT THOSE STINKIN WEEDS!! As I walked around the house to assess exactly how much roundup this job was going to require, I couldn’t help but wonder ‘who waters the weeds?!?’ Throughout the summer, I was watering my flowers EVERY NIGHT and still many didn’t make it through ... why is it that weeds seem to thrive without a lick of attention or care?
A couple of years ago, I actually received a little ‘Cliff Claven’ insight into that question ... turns out, weeds are ‘indigenous’ to the Earth’s soil. When something is indigenous, it means it occurs naturally, without struggle or strife ... they’ve been a part of the earth so long that they need nothing provided to them to survive ... they actually only show up where they KNOW they will survive. They thrive because they are suited to their surroundings ... very much ‘of this world’, if you will. It’s a really fascinating concept and the spiritual parallels could create an endless discussion.
In contrast, most flowers, plants and trees ARE NOT indigenous to the earth ... especially the really pretty or most fruitful ones. In order for most flowering bushes to bloom, they must be cared for and nurtured ... for most fruit trees to bear fruit, they must be pruned ... for a field of corn to grow, it must be farmed ... it fascinates me that I’m drawn to the plants that are the hardest to grow ... the ones that seem to actually fight the conditions in which I place them to grow. Just fascinating ... seems a little bit like life to me ...
I’ve been grumbling a lot, lately ... life is just hard, you know ... I know that many have it far worse than we do, so I’m not really pointing to our particular situation, but life in general ... it’s just hard. Can I get an Amen!? I suppose that’s where the phrase ‘that’s life’ was coined, from someone who had experienced the curve balls more than once in their game. Recently, I had something happen to me that set me in the tailspin of beating on the chest of God again ... the logic board in my computer, which is only 2 years old, died ... just died. Shut it down one night, went to start it up the next morning and it wouldn’t start. We had had a storm in the night, so I wasn’t sure if it had been hit by lightening, or what, but the point was that I didn’t have time for my 2 year old computer to die!!! I immediately felt that emotion from within that screams ‘THIS IS NOT FAIR, GOD!!!!’ As I grumbled about it all morning to Him, declaring myself righteous enough to at least be protected from a 2 year old computer from dying, something made me stop and notice that I’ve been around this mountain before ... I’ve seen these signs before ... the grumbling, the emotion, the irritation with God whenever something goes wrong ... just seemed way to familiar and it caused me to pause and confess to God that I didn’t want to stay on this mountain any more. I’ve heard several teachings about how God will allow you to deal with the same trial many times over and over until you find victory over it ... you have heard the story of the Israelites in the wilderness for 40 years, right?!? No one wanders a path that should only take 3-4 days for 40 years unless God intends for something to be learned there!!! So, not really wanting to stay here for 40 years, I asked for forgiveness and asked Him to show me how to move on and to get off of the ‘IT’S NOT FAIR’ ride.
And He reminded me of my flower bed ... how my beloved plants were struggling to survive, as the weeds were taking everything over without any care. Life on this earth IS hard, especially for Believers because we ARE NOT indigenous to this world ... John 15:19 says ‘we are IN this world, but not OF this world’ ... we are like the flowering plants that are not natural to the soil ... and how many of us might actually even be fighting our circumstances where God planted us with the intention of wanting us to grow there?! But because we were not created for this world, it's not natural to us so we can not be expected to just be planted and survive ... we NEED to be cared for ... and it might even take some work ...
We NEED to be watered and fed, we can not get our nourishment from things of this earth ... in Matthew 4, one of the temptations of Christ is documented when Jesus tells us that ‘man shall not live on bread alone’ ... we need to be fed with His Truth and nourished by the Holy Spirit. If you're feeling a bit 'dry' in your faith, Jesus says 'whoever drinks of the water I give, will never thirst again.' (John 4:10) ... how long has it been since you've taking the time to just drink Him in?! Don't you long to never be thirsty again?!
We NEED to be pruned ... in John 15:2, John points out that‘[God] cuts off every branch in us that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit, he prunes’... what’s interesting here is that pruning is not a punishment but actually a recognition that life is abundant and growth is possible!! We should embrace and look forward to the pruning, as it is a PROMISE of fruit forthcoming!! PRAISE GOD!!
We NEED to be weeded ... throughout Scripture, we are told to be watchful of satan's schemes and also warned not to fall for the ways of the world ... Ephesians 6 tells us that God has provided full armor to us 'so that we can stand against the schemes of satan'. Matthew 13:24-29 documents one of Jesus’ parables on weeds and actually gives an interesting case for NOT pulling some of the weeds in our fields (an entire discussion, on it’s own), but it is the Holy Spirit who provides the wisdom as to which ones are weeds and which ones are flowers that are not fully mature in our lives.
And finally for a plant to be successful, there’s a delicate balance between the need for sunshine (which is when plants ‘work’) and the need for rest (Deuteronomy 5:12-14). But there is no rest like the rest we find in the arms of a loving Father who never sleeps.
As God has planted us in this world, it is His plan and hope that we would grow and blossom and become beautiful ... to be enjoyed by all around us and maybe even do a little 'cross-pollinating', if you will, to bring others into His kingdom garden ... while that may be His intention for us, this world is not our world, right now ... satan has dominion right now and HIS plan is to thwart the creation of God and to destroy all that is intended for us. For those who do not yet believe, he wants to steal their eternal life altogether, but for those of us who have received Jesus, he knows he can't take our salvation, but he can certainly make us bloomless or fruitless ... and so he releases the weeds of life and sends them where he knows they can grow and survive ... anger will grow in a household where life seems unfair ... disappointment will attempt to strangle any signs of hope in a struggling ministry ... jealousy will double in size if it is not pulled from the root of a relationship.
Another thing about weeds is that they are deceptive ... does that sound like an inherited trait from anyone we know ... the father of lies, maybe?!? They are deceptive in size, they are deceptive in how quickly they can grow, as well as how harmful they can be. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve walked past what seems like a tiny little weed one day and the next day it’s twice the size! Tonight, I went to pull a weed that had gotten tangled in one of my plants only to realize that the entire backside of the plant had been all but taken over by the thing!! Not exaggerating that it was 10 times the size I thought it was by the time I got it pulled. The weeds of satan are no different ... it’s important for us to get to the point in our walk where when we first see the weed, we stop ... we praise God for showing it to us and then we pull that little sucker out right then and there!! Sometimes it’s just a matter of discipline as we catch a bad thought running through our mind, but other times, the root may be way deeper and we will need to press in to God to reveal to us how far it goes, and the best way to deal with it. Sometimes it just takes a stronger hand ... and sometimes it requires the weed wacker, maybe even a chain saw, if you know what I mean!?! But the good news is that we have a Loving Gardener that cares and knows far more about us than we will EVER care or know about ourselves!! Remember, He wrote a whole book on how to care for us!!
I had a revelation this week and I’m hoping He will give me the words to express it as fully as it came to me ... as I was praying for His return (pleading is a more accurate term), I suddenly had this revelation that when He comes ... and He IS COMING!! ... that He will complete and fulfill every possible desire, every possible dream, every possible need that we have EVER had, and because He knows us so intimately He will fulfill those we haven’t had ... He will fulfill it all in a blink of an eye ... everything! All of our lives and throughout mankind, His creation has manifested our needs in so many ways ... and more often than not, in so many destructively ways ... but all that we strive for and hope for, whether knowingly, or not ... He will fulfill 100% when He comes!! Everything!! That's better than waiting for any birthday surprise or Christmas present or even any vacation that I can think of!! All those things come and go, but when He comes, all of our expectations and hopes will be filled FOREVER!! Oh God, that makes me cry!!! Revelation 21 says that when He comes, there will be no more death, no more mourning or tears or pain ... but there will also be no more hoping, because He is our Hope! (Psalm 33:20) ... No more disappointment, because those who hope in Him will not be disappointed!! (Isaiah 49:23) ... No more fears, because fear is not of God (2 Timothy 1:7) ... And no more weeds, because He is doing a NEW THING and the old order of things will pass away! (Revelation 21:5)
He is bringing complete fulfillment of everything we’ve ever been seeking or wanting ever since we’ve been placed in this garden, known or unknown ... all because He loves us and longs to be with us, forever and ever!!! Doesn’t that get you more excited for His return than anything you could ever get excited about on this earth!! Just let your mind wrap itself around that thought and then open your arms up to Him in praise ... kind of makes you feel like a sunflower in His garden, raising its head towards the Son, doesn’t it?
Come Jesus, Come!!
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A couple of years ago, I actually received a little ‘Cliff Claven’ insight into that question ... turns out, weeds are ‘indigenous’ to the Earth’s soil. When something is indigenous, it means it occurs naturally, without struggle or strife ... they’ve been a part of the earth so long that they need nothing provided to them to survive ... they actually only show up where they KNOW they will survive. They thrive because they are suited to their surroundings ... very much ‘of this world’, if you will. It’s a really fascinating concept and the spiritual parallels could create an endless discussion.
In contrast, most flowers, plants and trees ARE NOT indigenous to the earth ... especially the really pretty or most fruitful ones. In order for most flowering bushes to bloom, they must be cared for and nurtured ... for most fruit trees to bear fruit, they must be pruned ... for a field of corn to grow, it must be farmed ... it fascinates me that I’m drawn to the plants that are the hardest to grow ... the ones that seem to actually fight the conditions in which I place them to grow. Just fascinating ... seems a little bit like life to me ...
I’ve been grumbling a lot, lately ... life is just hard, you know ... I know that many have it far worse than we do, so I’m not really pointing to our particular situation, but life in general ... it’s just hard. Can I get an Amen!? I suppose that’s where the phrase ‘that’s life’ was coined, from someone who had experienced the curve balls more than once in their game. Recently, I had something happen to me that set me in the tailspin of beating on the chest of God again ... the logic board in my computer, which is only 2 years old, died ... just died. Shut it down one night, went to start it up the next morning and it wouldn’t start. We had had a storm in the night, so I wasn’t sure if it had been hit by lightening, or what, but the point was that I didn’t have time for my 2 year old computer to die!!! I immediately felt that emotion from within that screams ‘THIS IS NOT FAIR, GOD!!!!’ As I grumbled about it all morning to Him, declaring myself righteous enough to at least be protected from a 2 year old computer from dying, something made me stop and notice that I’ve been around this mountain before ... I’ve seen these signs before ... the grumbling, the emotion, the irritation with God whenever something goes wrong ... just seemed way to familiar and it caused me to pause and confess to God that I didn’t want to stay on this mountain any more. I’ve heard several teachings about how God will allow you to deal with the same trial many times over and over until you find victory over it ... you have heard the story of the Israelites in the wilderness for 40 years, right?!? No one wanders a path that should only take 3-4 days for 40 years unless God intends for something to be learned there!!! So, not really wanting to stay here for 40 years, I asked for forgiveness and asked Him to show me how to move on and to get off of the ‘IT’S NOT FAIR’ ride.
And He reminded me of my flower bed ... how my beloved plants were struggling to survive, as the weeds were taking everything over without any care. Life on this earth IS hard, especially for Believers because we ARE NOT indigenous to this world ... John 15:19 says ‘we are IN this world, but not OF this world’ ... we are like the flowering plants that are not natural to the soil ... and how many of us might actually even be fighting our circumstances where God planted us with the intention of wanting us to grow there?! But because we were not created for this world, it's not natural to us so we can not be expected to just be planted and survive ... we NEED to be cared for ... and it might even take some work ...
We NEED to be watered and fed, we can not get our nourishment from things of this earth ... in Matthew 4, one of the temptations of Christ is documented when Jesus tells us that ‘man shall not live on bread alone’ ... we need to be fed with His Truth and nourished by the Holy Spirit. If you're feeling a bit 'dry' in your faith, Jesus says 'whoever drinks of the water I give, will never thirst again.' (John 4:10) ... how long has it been since you've taking the time to just drink Him in?! Don't you long to never be thirsty again?!
We NEED to be pruned ... in John 15:2, John points out that‘[God] cuts off every branch in us that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit, he prunes’... what’s interesting here is that pruning is not a punishment but actually a recognition that life is abundant and growth is possible!! We should embrace and look forward to the pruning, as it is a PROMISE of fruit forthcoming!! PRAISE GOD!!
We NEED to be weeded ... throughout Scripture, we are told to be watchful of satan's schemes and also warned not to fall for the ways of the world ... Ephesians 6 tells us that God has provided full armor to us 'so that we can stand against the schemes of satan'. Matthew 13:24-29 documents one of Jesus’ parables on weeds and actually gives an interesting case for NOT pulling some of the weeds in our fields (an entire discussion, on it’s own), but it is the Holy Spirit who provides the wisdom as to which ones are weeds and which ones are flowers that are not fully mature in our lives.
And finally for a plant to be successful, there’s a delicate balance between the need for sunshine (which is when plants ‘work’) and the need for rest (Deuteronomy 5:12-14). But there is no rest like the rest we find in the arms of a loving Father who never sleeps.
As God has planted us in this world, it is His plan and hope that we would grow and blossom and become beautiful ... to be enjoyed by all around us and maybe even do a little 'cross-pollinating', if you will, to bring others into His kingdom garden ... while that may be His intention for us, this world is not our world, right now ... satan has dominion right now and HIS plan is to thwart the creation of God and to destroy all that is intended for us. For those who do not yet believe, he wants to steal their eternal life altogether, but for those of us who have received Jesus, he knows he can't take our salvation, but he can certainly make us bloomless or fruitless ... and so he releases the weeds of life and sends them where he knows they can grow and survive ... anger will grow in a household where life seems unfair ... disappointment will attempt to strangle any signs of hope in a struggling ministry ... jealousy will double in size if it is not pulled from the root of a relationship.
Another thing about weeds is that they are deceptive ... does that sound like an inherited trait from anyone we know ... the father of lies, maybe?!? They are deceptive in size, they are deceptive in how quickly they can grow, as well as how harmful they can be. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve walked past what seems like a tiny little weed one day and the next day it’s twice the size! Tonight, I went to pull a weed that had gotten tangled in one of my plants only to realize that the entire backside of the plant had been all but taken over by the thing!! Not exaggerating that it was 10 times the size I thought it was by the time I got it pulled. The weeds of satan are no different ... it’s important for us to get to the point in our walk where when we first see the weed, we stop ... we praise God for showing it to us and then we pull that little sucker out right then and there!! Sometimes it’s just a matter of discipline as we catch a bad thought running through our mind, but other times, the root may be way deeper and we will need to press in to God to reveal to us how far it goes, and the best way to deal with it. Sometimes it just takes a stronger hand ... and sometimes it requires the weed wacker, maybe even a chain saw, if you know what I mean!?! But the good news is that we have a Loving Gardener that cares and knows far more about us than we will EVER care or know about ourselves!! Remember, He wrote a whole book on how to care for us!!
I had a revelation this week and I’m hoping He will give me the words to express it as fully as it came to me ... as I was praying for His return (pleading is a more accurate term), I suddenly had this revelation that when He comes ... and He IS COMING!! ... that He will complete and fulfill every possible desire, every possible dream, every possible need that we have EVER had, and because He knows us so intimately He will fulfill those we haven’t had ... He will fulfill it all in a blink of an eye ... everything! All of our lives and throughout mankind, His creation has manifested our needs in so many ways ... and more often than not, in so many destructively ways ... but all that we strive for and hope for, whether knowingly, or not ... He will fulfill 100% when He comes!! Everything!! That's better than waiting for any birthday surprise or Christmas present or even any vacation that I can think of!! All those things come and go, but when He comes, all of our expectations and hopes will be filled FOREVER!! Oh God, that makes me cry!!! Revelation 21 says that when He comes, there will be no more death, no more mourning or tears or pain ... but there will also be no more hoping, because He is our Hope! (Psalm 33:20) ... No more disappointment, because those who hope in Him will not be disappointed!! (Isaiah 49:23) ... No more fears, because fear is not of God (2 Timothy 1:7) ... And no more weeds, because He is doing a NEW THING and the old order of things will pass away! (Revelation 21:5)
He is bringing complete fulfillment of everything we’ve ever been seeking or wanting ever since we’ve been placed in this garden, known or unknown ... all because He loves us and longs to be with us, forever and ever!!! Doesn’t that get you more excited for His return than anything you could ever get excited about on this earth!! Just let your mind wrap itself around that thought and then open your arms up to Him in praise ... kind of makes you feel like a sunflower in His garden, raising its head towards the Son, doesn’t it?
Come Jesus, Come!!
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Monday, July 26, 2010
Audience of one ...
It’s been a very busy summer, as all three kiddos jumped into baseball season even before school was out. Most weeks, we literally had just one night a week we didn’t either have practice or a game. Very thankful for family, as we could not have done it without the Grandparents! We WERE able to get away for a week at the beach with family at the end of June, but came right back to another crazy week of baseball tourneys, followed by a couple more busy work weeks for my business. What do they say about being B.U.S.Y. ... Being Under Satan’s Yoke ...
While it has it been a full summer, it has been a lot fun as we have had MANY opportunities to be together with family and friends ... which is why it does not make sense to me that I’ve really been struggling with loneliness this summer. I don’t think I really even realized that was the emotion until just recently ... it’s really crazy ... with all the chaos ... all the family ... we rarely have a weekend to ourselves, so it kind of took me by surprise when God started to place His finger on that unhealed part of my heart. It’s not raw like some wounds He can leave after one of His surgical procedures, but more like a severe burn that can’t stand to be out in the open. When He first revealed it to me, I actually knocked His hand away, afraid and protective of the wound ... almost embarrassed by it. Slowly, He has been pulling back the crappy little bandaids I had used in attempt to aid the healing ... or hide it ... the kids’ schedules ... my work ... busyness of errands and tasks ... distractions of home projects ... one by one, He’s showing me how He alone is the Healer of our hurts.
In the Spring, I had really reached a great spot ... if you remember, I had pulled up residency from this crazy world and moved into the Opposite World with my King (I’ve actually been doing a self-study this summer on the ‘currency of God’, which I hope to share with you soon!) It was truly a wonderful place to be as I experienced a freedom in my soul like I’ve never had. But somewhere in the chaos of this world, I was drawn back to deal with schedules and errands and projects and then I guess I just lost my way back Home. I found myself in an awkward place as I no longer had a place to live in this world because I had chosen to give it up and frankly just don't have the energy for it any longer, but I couldn’t remember how to get back to my new home with Him and that’s kind of where I’ve been all summer ... lonely and lost. I think what trapped me here is that I started caring again ... in what others thought ... in what our future holds ... in what God’s plan is ... in what He would have me do next. Caring and not surrendering, there is a difference ... Soon, I was receiving the rejection from others who are still very much residing in this world and finding myself judging God all over again ... judging His plan by what appeared to be the lack of progress in moving forward ... the lack of fruit in what I thought I was doing for Him ... and all of the sudden I looked up from the distractions and found myself in the wilderness ... AGAIN ... discouraged and tired, I just laid down and went to sleep and that’s where I’ve been most of the summer ... lost, lonely, cold, hungry, discouraged and tired.
[Normally at this point in my journaling, I would start to wonder if I still had anyone with me. All of this symbolic writing, all of which I'm sure seems like ‘code’ ... but as I just read back through to see if any of it makes any sense, I just heard Him say ‘let those who have ears, hear’ :) ... and so I continue ... ]
When I first started to write for Him during David’s illness, it was for the purposes of communicating and encouraging truth ... but somewhere in the chaos of the past year, I started writing for hopes of seeing His fruit ... of seeing Him use me to change lives ... afterall, that would help to make sense of it all, right? Many would say that’s not a bad reason to write, but what has happened is that when my hope is in the fruit, it’s not in Him ... so when there is no sign of fruit ... everything from negative feedback to no feedback to the ever growing number of blank stares I’m starting to get ... when there is no fruit, then I question whether His plan is real and that's just one step away from questioning the overall directive. But God never said to me ‘write so that there will be fruit’. He has just placed in me a NEED to write/share of Him and what He’s doing in me ... I believe it’s the ‘breathing’ in His Opposite World ... I inhale what He has to say through His Word and teachings and then exhale through my writing and teaching to others ... He wants me to write/share not because of the fruit it produces, but because my writing/sharing keeps me alive in Him ... and that pleases Him.
And there’s that pesky question, again ... is He enough?
The Book of Acts is the Biblical account of what happened AFTER Jesus’ time on earth ... after he lived and died and rose again ... how did the Apostles react to their encounter with Jesus? Did they visit three or four different synagogues to decide which one best fit their families to serve? Did they write a book and wait for the speaking engagements to come in? No! They couldn’t keep it to themselves! They HAD to tell everyone what they saw and heard ... out of their shear NEED TO, they continued in the steps of Jesus, in His name. In Acts 4, Peter & John were brought before the leaders of the church (the Pharisees) to make an account for their behavior and to answer ‘In whose name are you doing these things?’ When they said they were doing it in the name of Jesus, they were told to stop it! And their response in Acts 4:19-20 is my hearts cry ... 'Judge for yourselves whether it is right in God's sight to obey you rather than God. For we cannot help speaking about what we have seen and heard.'
I’ve had so many opportunities to share all that I’ve seen and heard these past couple of years and prior to the summer, I was doing it fearlessly. I just couldn’t help it! You don’t think I know how cuckoo it sounds when I say ‘Jesus is coming soon!’ or ‘there is more!’ ... but that doesn’t change the fact that HE IS COMING (and soon, by the way!) and that there is more! You don’t think that I know how people are hesitant to ask me to pray for healing, when David was not healed? How some question what I say I ‘hear’, when I ‘thought’ I had heard that David would be fully restored on this Earth? That doesn’t mean that God doesn’t heal and that doesn’t mean I wasn’t hearing ... HE DOES HEAL! And although I’m still reconciling what I heard with what I see, I do not doubt that He speaks. I just believe there is still more to come to fulfill all that He has said. Crazy? Maybe. But I would rather be crazy with Jesus, than lost and lonely in the wilderness! Been there, done that, don’t want the t-shirt!
Up until the summer, I could not help but speak about what I had seen and heard ... just like Peter & John ... and I believe I was rewarded with residency in the ‘Opposite World’ for a short time, where I was able to escape this crazy world of nonbelief and distractions, which is where I believe the Apostles lived too, throughout their faithfulness. But when I started caring what people thought about the cuckoo-ness ... when I started to receive the blank stares and negative feedback as signs of ‘no fruit’ in what I thought God wanted me to be doing, I got distracted (AGAIN!) and I was no longer able to speak about what I had seen and heard ... I started trying to figure out what God wanted me to say in order to produce fruit. The difference ... my audience was you, not Him. I believe He does ask some to say specific things and He does give words to those whom He wants to speak for Him ... but I believe for the majority of us, He just wants us to be a witness for Him ... to not be able to help ourselves from telling others all that He has done for us ... in us, through us. For many around us, that’s more than enough for them to want to know Him more.
Until we get to the point where we are living only for our Audience of One, we are not living. We are just being deceived and distracted.
He is all that matters and He is all that we have ... He is our Hope ... my companion and my King. Please don’t be offended when I say that my hope is no longer in you :) It’s no longer in this world or any fruit that my writing/sharing produces, either ... My hope is in Him alone and what I know He is able to do because He’s done it in me, for me and through me.
Funny thing I just realized ... I’ve not been one bit lonely the whole time I’ve been writing ...
I guess He IS enough.
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While it has it been a full summer, it has been a lot fun as we have had MANY opportunities to be together with family and friends ... which is why it does not make sense to me that I’ve really been struggling with loneliness this summer. I don’t think I really even realized that was the emotion until just recently ... it’s really crazy ... with all the chaos ... all the family ... we rarely have a weekend to ourselves, so it kind of took me by surprise when God started to place His finger on that unhealed part of my heart. It’s not raw like some wounds He can leave after one of His surgical procedures, but more like a severe burn that can’t stand to be out in the open. When He first revealed it to me, I actually knocked His hand away, afraid and protective of the wound ... almost embarrassed by it. Slowly, He has been pulling back the crappy little bandaids I had used in attempt to aid the healing ... or hide it ... the kids’ schedules ... my work ... busyness of errands and tasks ... distractions of home projects ... one by one, He’s showing me how He alone is the Healer of our hurts.
In the Spring, I had really reached a great spot ... if you remember, I had pulled up residency from this crazy world and moved into the Opposite World with my King (I’ve actually been doing a self-study this summer on the ‘currency of God’, which I hope to share with you soon!) It was truly a wonderful place to be as I experienced a freedom in my soul like I’ve never had. But somewhere in the chaos of this world, I was drawn back to deal with schedules and errands and projects and then I guess I just lost my way back Home. I found myself in an awkward place as I no longer had a place to live in this world because I had chosen to give it up and frankly just don't have the energy for it any longer, but I couldn’t remember how to get back to my new home with Him and that’s kind of where I’ve been all summer ... lonely and lost. I think what trapped me here is that I started caring again ... in what others thought ... in what our future holds ... in what God’s plan is ... in what He would have me do next. Caring and not surrendering, there is a difference ... Soon, I was receiving the rejection from others who are still very much residing in this world and finding myself judging God all over again ... judging His plan by what appeared to be the lack of progress in moving forward ... the lack of fruit in what I thought I was doing for Him ... and all of the sudden I looked up from the distractions and found myself in the wilderness ... AGAIN ... discouraged and tired, I just laid down and went to sleep and that’s where I’ve been most of the summer ... lost, lonely, cold, hungry, discouraged and tired.
[Normally at this point in my journaling, I would start to wonder if I still had anyone with me. All of this symbolic writing, all of which I'm sure seems like ‘code’ ... but as I just read back through to see if any of it makes any sense, I just heard Him say ‘let those who have ears, hear’ :) ... and so I continue ... ]
When I first started to write for Him during David’s illness, it was for the purposes of communicating and encouraging truth ... but somewhere in the chaos of the past year, I started writing for hopes of seeing His fruit ... of seeing Him use me to change lives ... afterall, that would help to make sense of it all, right? Many would say that’s not a bad reason to write, but what has happened is that when my hope is in the fruit, it’s not in Him ... so when there is no sign of fruit ... everything from negative feedback to no feedback to the ever growing number of blank stares I’m starting to get ... when there is no fruit, then I question whether His plan is real and that's just one step away from questioning the overall directive. But God never said to me ‘write so that there will be fruit’. He has just placed in me a NEED to write/share of Him and what He’s doing in me ... I believe it’s the ‘breathing’ in His Opposite World ... I inhale what He has to say through His Word and teachings and then exhale through my writing and teaching to others ... He wants me to write/share not because of the fruit it produces, but because my writing/sharing keeps me alive in Him ... and that pleases Him.
And there’s that pesky question, again ... is He enough?
The Book of Acts is the Biblical account of what happened AFTER Jesus’ time on earth ... after he lived and died and rose again ... how did the Apostles react to their encounter with Jesus? Did they visit three or four different synagogues to decide which one best fit their families to serve? Did they write a book and wait for the speaking engagements to come in? No! They couldn’t keep it to themselves! They HAD to tell everyone what they saw and heard ... out of their shear NEED TO, they continued in the steps of Jesus, in His name. In Acts 4, Peter & John were brought before the leaders of the church (the Pharisees) to make an account for their behavior and to answer ‘In whose name are you doing these things?’ When they said they were doing it in the name of Jesus, they were told to stop it! And their response in Acts 4:19-20 is my hearts cry ... 'Judge for yourselves whether it is right in God's sight to obey you rather than God. For we cannot help speaking about what we have seen and heard.'
I’ve had so many opportunities to share all that I’ve seen and heard these past couple of years and prior to the summer, I was doing it fearlessly. I just couldn’t help it! You don’t think I know how cuckoo it sounds when I say ‘Jesus is coming soon!’ or ‘there is more!’ ... but that doesn’t change the fact that HE IS COMING (and soon, by the way!) and that there is more! You don’t think that I know how people are hesitant to ask me to pray for healing, when David was not healed? How some question what I say I ‘hear’, when I ‘thought’ I had heard that David would be fully restored on this Earth? That doesn’t mean that God doesn’t heal and that doesn’t mean I wasn’t hearing ... HE DOES HEAL! And although I’m still reconciling what I heard with what I see, I do not doubt that He speaks. I just believe there is still more to come to fulfill all that He has said. Crazy? Maybe. But I would rather be crazy with Jesus, than lost and lonely in the wilderness! Been there, done that, don’t want the t-shirt!
Up until the summer, I could not help but speak about what I had seen and heard ... just like Peter & John ... and I believe I was rewarded with residency in the ‘Opposite World’ for a short time, where I was able to escape this crazy world of nonbelief and distractions, which is where I believe the Apostles lived too, throughout their faithfulness. But when I started caring what people thought about the cuckoo-ness ... when I started to receive the blank stares and negative feedback as signs of ‘no fruit’ in what I thought God wanted me to be doing, I got distracted (AGAIN!) and I was no longer able to speak about what I had seen and heard ... I started trying to figure out what God wanted me to say in order to produce fruit. The difference ... my audience was you, not Him. I believe He does ask some to say specific things and He does give words to those whom He wants to speak for Him ... but I believe for the majority of us, He just wants us to be a witness for Him ... to not be able to help ourselves from telling others all that He has done for us ... in us, through us. For many around us, that’s more than enough for them to want to know Him more.
Until we get to the point where we are living only for our Audience of One, we are not living. We are just being deceived and distracted.
He is all that matters and He is all that we have ... He is our Hope ... my companion and my King. Please don’t be offended when I say that my hope is no longer in you :) It’s no longer in this world or any fruit that my writing/sharing produces, either ... My hope is in Him alone and what I know He is able to do because He’s done it in me, for me and through me.
Funny thing I just realized ... I’ve not been one bit lonely the whole time I’ve been writing ...
I guess He IS enough.
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Friday, April 30, 2010
I will lift my eyes ...
This morning, I woke up with the update on the TV that the oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico had reached land and they were estimating the ‘worst ecological damage in US history’ ... Somehow, I except we’ll start hearing that benchmark continue to be breached. [sidebar ... please pray for those families who lost loved ones in the rig explosion.] What caught my attention in the coverage was that they said that the Gulf represents 1/3 of the seafood industry ... I’ve heard that fraction before ... Isn’t it in Revelation 8 that says a 1/3 of the sea life will die in the end times? That scripture is related to a ‘great mountain falling into the sea’, but it caught my attention and my first thought was maybe I should go to Red Lobster this weekend for the Shrimp Festival before it’s all gone :) Just kidding (kind of) ... also made me wonder how often we’ll hear that fraction ... 1/3 ... In the coming months/years.
On the same note, I read the other day an ‘assessment’ of this volcano in Iceland and how most experts think it’s just the beginning. There is another volcano 12 miles away that historically erupts in tandem, and is 10 times stronger. What caught my attention in that article was when they listed 5 other volcanoes ‘that could shut down the world’, some showing activity for the first time in decades ... Number 2, especially stood out ...
2. CUMBRE VIEJA (La Palma, Canary Islands)
Last erupted: 1971
Effects of a major eruption: In 2001, U.S. and British scientists warned that a major eruption of Cumbre Vieja could cause the enire western flank of the volcano to fall into the sea, creating a "mega-tsunami" in the Atlantic. Traveling at 500 miles per hour, it would wipe out Florida, coastal Brazil, and parts of Europe with waves up to 160-feet high. Likelihood: The scientists say the "year to year probability" of a major eruption is low, but preparations should be taken anyway given the potentially cataclysmic damages.
Could this be the ‘great mountain falling into the sea’ from the 2nd Trumpet, detailed in Revelation 8? Only time will tell, but aside from all of this in my head and on my TV, I woke up with such an excitement in my Spirit this morning, and a song in my heart. I always love when God wakes me with a song because I know it’s Him wanting to say something to me ...
In all of the chaos and unknowns ... Even in my desire and almost desperation for Him to come soon, He is asking me to lift my eyes to Him. The Maker of the mountains, the Calmer of the oceans, the Healer of the hurt ... The great I AM!
I Will Lift My Eyes lyrics
God My God, I cry out
your beloved needs you now
God be near, calm my fear
and take my doubt
your kindness is what pulls me up,
your love is all that draws me in
I will lift my eyes to the maker,
of the mountains I can't climb
I will lift my eyes to calmer,
of the oceans raging wild
I will lift my eyes to the healer,
of the hurt I hold inside
I will lift my eyes, lift my eyes to you
God my God let mercy sing
her melody over me
God right here all I bring is all of me
Your kindness is what pulls me up,
your love is all that draws me in
I will lift my eyes to the maker
of the mountains I can't climb
I will lift my eyes to calmer,
of the oceans raging wild
I will lift my eyes to the healer,
of the hurt I hold inside
Cause you are and you were
and you will be forever
The lover I need to save me
Cause you fashioned the earth
and Hold it together
God so hold me now
I will lift my eyes to the maker,
of the mountains I can't climb
I will lift my eyes to calmer,
of the oceans raging wild
I will lift my eyes to the healer,
of the hurt I hold inside
God My God, I cry out
your beloved needs you now
[sung by: bebo norman]
Youtube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y05gZvKdAqY
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On the same note, I read the other day an ‘assessment’ of this volcano in Iceland and how most experts think it’s just the beginning. There is another volcano 12 miles away that historically erupts in tandem, and is 10 times stronger. What caught my attention in that article was when they listed 5 other volcanoes ‘that could shut down the world’, some showing activity for the first time in decades ... Number 2, especially stood out ...
2. CUMBRE VIEJA (La Palma, Canary Islands)
Last erupted: 1971
Effects of a major eruption: In 2001, U.S. and British scientists warned that a major eruption of Cumbre Vieja could cause the enire western flank of the volcano to fall into the sea, creating a "mega-tsunami" in the Atlantic. Traveling at 500 miles per hour, it would wipe out Florida, coastal Brazil, and parts of Europe with waves up to 160-feet high. Likelihood: The scientists say the "year to year probability" of a major eruption is low, but preparations should be taken anyway given the potentially cataclysmic damages.
Could this be the ‘great mountain falling into the sea’ from the 2nd Trumpet, detailed in Revelation 8? Only time will tell, but aside from all of this in my head and on my TV, I woke up with such an excitement in my Spirit this morning, and a song in my heart. I always love when God wakes me with a song because I know it’s Him wanting to say something to me ...
In all of the chaos and unknowns ... Even in my desire and almost desperation for Him to come soon, He is asking me to lift my eyes to Him. The Maker of the mountains, the Calmer of the oceans, the Healer of the hurt ... The great I AM!
I Will Lift My Eyes lyrics
God My God, I cry out
your beloved needs you now
God be near, calm my fear
and take my doubt
your kindness is what pulls me up,
your love is all that draws me in
I will lift my eyes to the maker,
of the mountains I can't climb
I will lift my eyes to calmer,
of the oceans raging wild
I will lift my eyes to the healer,
of the hurt I hold inside
I will lift my eyes, lift my eyes to you
God my God let mercy sing
her melody over me
God right here all I bring is all of me
Your kindness is what pulls me up,
your love is all that draws me in
I will lift my eyes to the maker
of the mountains I can't climb
I will lift my eyes to calmer,
of the oceans raging wild
I will lift my eyes to the healer,
of the hurt I hold inside
Cause you are and you were
and you will be forever
The lover I need to save me
Cause you fashioned the earth
and Hold it together
God so hold me now
I will lift my eyes to the maker,
of the mountains I can't climb
I will lift my eyes to calmer,
of the oceans raging wild
I will lift my eyes to the healer,
of the hurt I hold inside
God My God, I cry out
your beloved needs you now
[sung by: bebo norman]
Youtube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y05gZvKdAqY
[comment on this entry] [sign guestbook]
Monday, March 22, 2010
Let not your heart be troubled ...
I’ve been wanting to update this blog for a while now and it has been a real lesson for me in waiting for God to give me Words. I’ve often come to the computer expectant to share, only to stare blankly at the screen before just shutting down and going to bed. He has been active in me over the last several weeks ... with both truth and revelation ... and I feel like some of my questions are being answered, like puzzle pieces starting to fit together. I can’t say I can make out the big picture yet, but I feel like I’m finding some edge pieces, or maybe even a corner, or two. I have so much I want to share, but I think He’s also teaching me what things are meant for sharing and what things have been meant for me alone. Frustrating at times, but I’ve moved residence into His ‘Opposite World’, and with that comes mandatory dependence on His direction :)
Kids & I are doing well, thank you for your continued prayers. As we near the one year anniversary of when David left for God’s service, continued prayers are very much appreciated. Last year, we let him go on Palm Sunday and I do not believe it’s a coincidence that the date falls on Easter Sunday this year ... It should go without saying that our eyes are constantly watching the clouds! It’s hard to believe a year has gone by, but praise God for His mercy in making the time go past quickly. As I take inventory of God’s goodness, another miracle I have realized is that we (kids & family too) are feeling less and less separated from David ... I know that has to sound odd ... 'opposite', to say the least ... I often feel like we are just two magnets on opposite sides of a board and for that I am very, very thankful. Another friend of mine who also lost her husband last year has recently been placed on anti-depressants, so I am fully aware of God’s grace over us and it is why I ask for you to continue to pray for us as He leads you, whenever He leads you. God is good.
What is on my heart tonight is the reality of hopelessness and how satan uses it to steal and destroy ... As I watched the news updates on the healthcare vote this evening, it was a heavy ending to a tough week on the prayer front as my prayer list seems to be growing and growing with each phone call and text that comes through. It seems like each day this past week brought multiple new needs to take before God ... many of them very serious. I think it was on Friday that I gave up naming each one and just went to the floor, crying out ‘God! Seriously! I can’t even name them all!’ And those are just the needs of immediate family/friends, not even to mention the recent elevation of national tensions between Israel/US and the healthcare vote, etc, etc ... On all fronts, chaos seems to be taking over the show. This evening, one radio talk show host reported that his voicemail was full of desperate, heart-broken callers who were distraught over what this healthcare vote would mean to the country and it would seem that on many fronts, hopelessness is starting to set in.
Friends, I want to caution you against hopelessness that is sure to come, if it has not already reared itself in your home ... As I’ve been very open about, I believe we are in the End Times and hopelessness is sure to be a part of it ... it is satan’s bait to harden your heart, which is what the Bible often refers to when God can no longer work in a life. My most immediate prayer request after David left for God’s service was ‘please pray that my heart does not get hard’, as I could feel the effects of confusion and fear and desperation starting to take over ... It’s what I most often pray for others, too, when their unthinkable circumstances come. Jesus Himself talked about such unthinkable circumstances when He referred to the End Times and gave us signs to watch for ... about these signs, He says ‘do not be alarmed, for such things MUST HAPPEN ...’(Matthew 24:6-8) He calls these signs ‘birth pains’ of what is to come but then warns ‘You must be on your guard ... on account of me you will stand before governors and kings as witnesses to them.’ This verse is what lead me to call my Congressmen, as I know we are being asked to maintain our witness of Him ... Some day, it WILL matter.
I don’t know what you know about this subject of ‘End Times’ (the Bible calls it End of the Age), but it should not be scary or troublesome to those who know the Word ... if you are afraid or confused, I encourage you to READ!!! ... The ‘End of the Age’ is referring to an end of a sinful, troubled, broken world AND THE BEGINNING of a world FULLY restored, as God originally intended it to be for those who have asked Jesus into their hearts and whose sins have been covered by His forgiving blood ... Imagine a world where we will walk and talk with God and Jesus, along with all the other Believers in Christ ... An Earth fully restored ... relationships fully restored ... bodies fully restored ... I'm beginning to wonder if that is what God was speaking to me when He kept saying to me 'fully restored' all through David's illness ... Revelation 21 describes it as having, 'no more death or mourning or crying or pain for the old order of things has passed away!' Can you imagine!! Oh, how my heart says 'YES!' For the sake of time (we don’t have much!), skip the multiple commentaries available out there on End Times and just go directly to what Jesus has to say about it in the Gospels (Matthew, Mark, Luke & John) ... If we would just read Jesus’ words, the ultimate source for truth, we will find the HOPE and the PEACE I know that many of us are seeking in these times of chaos and unknowns ... Regardless of where you stand in the healthcare debate, did you ever think that you would see a day when the elected officials in our free America would blatantly force a piece of legislation through, regardless of public opinion? Jesus did. These times are not a surprise to God and I have to chuckle as I picture the chaos in the halls of Congress, throughout their offices and in those ‘back rooms’ where deals were being made, compared to God sitting quietly, peacefully on His throne! Not only does this not surprise Him, but He knows that such things must happen.
Hopelessness is a disease of the heart and something that even we Believers need to be cautious about, especially in these times when many things will be stolen from us ... please know that everything is just a distraction to what satan is really after ... Our hope and belief in a God that saves! In Matthew, Jesus warns us in verse 10, ‘at that time [when signs of the end of age start to appear] many will TURN AWAY FROM THEIR FAITH and will betray and hate each other (does that sound like any of this healthcare drama to anyone else?!) ... because of the increase of wickedness, the love of MOST will grow cold, but he who stands firm to the end will be saved.’ He even goes as far to say that ‘if these days had not been cut short [inferring that they will be cut short, Come Jesus COME!], NO ONE would survive, but for the sake of the elect, those days will be numbered.’ That is how intense the times ahead are going to be ... Only because of God’s mercy on us, will we even survive this! THAT is the truth we need to be focusing on!
Friends, these verses are speaking to Believers, not unbelievers ... those WITH faith will turn away ... in these times, MANY will turn from their faith and I believe it’s because of hopelessness. Please guard your faith, as being more precious than gold!! I believe that more chaos is on the horizon and many will start questioning God’s goodness and/or His ability/power to intervene ... remember, it is satan’s ultimate goal. Personally, I know many Christians struggling with what’s going on in their lives and in the nation and are VERY close to turning away from their faith ... even use me as an example ... I considered myself a solid believer in Christ and I can personally testify of how hopelessness played a huge role in my questions and nearly turning away from my God. It is only by the grace of God that He has shown me that my circumstances do not define Him and are merely a distraction to what is really going on ... that satan was attempting to steal my faith and belief in a good God that loves and saves ... Hopelessness is a tool of the devil and you must be aware! It often starts with questions and doubts that we are too afraid to take to God, as if He does not know we are already thinking them! Satan jumps right in with his tools of fear, shame, control, offense, anger ... or maybe we just grow so tired of fighting that we turn apathetic and/or complacent, which is almost as bad because we actually think we’re ok ... If we are not careful, before long our hearts have grown hard and we turn away altogether ... Guard yourself!! Take all your concerns and fears directly to the Throne as soon as they surface and just lay it all out for Him ... As ugly as that can be! God wants purity, not perfection! Ask Him to show Himself! Call out to Him! Those who hope in the Lord will not be disappointed! (Isaiah 49:23)
Wherever you are, whatever your circumstance, know that satan intends to use it to destroy you and if he can't destroy you, he wants to destroy your faith and belief that God is real, that He is good, that He loves you and that He is coming again for those who believe!
For those out there already on this ‘cuckoo bus’ with me, please join me in keeping fellow Believers focused on the truths of the Word. The world can be consuming and distracting!! Let’s be careful of what we speak out of our own fear or doubt, as it could lead someone from their walk with the Lord, or discourage a relationship with Jesus all together. We must be constantly seeking the truths in the Word so that we can always be pointing to all the promises intended for us ... pointing to Christ and keeping our eyes upward ... there is so much to look forward to!!!!!!!!
After this day of chaos, this evening my sister and I were ‘signing off’ our text to each other and what she said was a perfect example of the Hope Christ offers ... She said, ‘How great is our God! I praise Him that I can go to sleep in peace despite what things look like.’ Amen! Amen! If you do not know this Peace that passes all understanding ... The Peace that comes from a Hope eternal ... The Peace that comes from knowing a BIG God ... that crazy Peace which is Christ Jesus (Phil 4:7) ... maybe the promise of a much needed good night's sleep (for tonight and through eternity) will be what tempts you to ask ... whatever it takes, PLEASE ask Him for it, Friend ... while the richest of kings can not afford the current price of peace in this world, it is free and abundant in God’s Opposite World!
JOIN ME! In the Opposite World, rest is AMAZING ... in the arms of my Lord!
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Kids & I are doing well, thank you for your continued prayers. As we near the one year anniversary of when David left for God’s service, continued prayers are very much appreciated. Last year, we let him go on Palm Sunday and I do not believe it’s a coincidence that the date falls on Easter Sunday this year ... It should go without saying that our eyes are constantly watching the clouds! It’s hard to believe a year has gone by, but praise God for His mercy in making the time go past quickly. As I take inventory of God’s goodness, another miracle I have realized is that we (kids & family too) are feeling less and less separated from David ... I know that has to sound odd ... 'opposite', to say the least ... I often feel like we are just two magnets on opposite sides of a board and for that I am very, very thankful. Another friend of mine who also lost her husband last year has recently been placed on anti-depressants, so I am fully aware of God’s grace over us and it is why I ask for you to continue to pray for us as He leads you, whenever He leads you. God is good.
What is on my heart tonight is the reality of hopelessness and how satan uses it to steal and destroy ... As I watched the news updates on the healthcare vote this evening, it was a heavy ending to a tough week on the prayer front as my prayer list seems to be growing and growing with each phone call and text that comes through. It seems like each day this past week brought multiple new needs to take before God ... many of them very serious. I think it was on Friday that I gave up naming each one and just went to the floor, crying out ‘God! Seriously! I can’t even name them all!’ And those are just the needs of immediate family/friends, not even to mention the recent elevation of national tensions between Israel/US and the healthcare vote, etc, etc ... On all fronts, chaos seems to be taking over the show. This evening, one radio talk show host reported that his voicemail was full of desperate, heart-broken callers who were distraught over what this healthcare vote would mean to the country and it would seem that on many fronts, hopelessness is starting to set in.
Friends, I want to caution you against hopelessness that is sure to come, if it has not already reared itself in your home ... As I’ve been very open about, I believe we are in the End Times and hopelessness is sure to be a part of it ... it is satan’s bait to harden your heart, which is what the Bible often refers to when God can no longer work in a life. My most immediate prayer request after David left for God’s service was ‘please pray that my heart does not get hard’, as I could feel the effects of confusion and fear and desperation starting to take over ... It’s what I most often pray for others, too, when their unthinkable circumstances come. Jesus Himself talked about such unthinkable circumstances when He referred to the End Times and gave us signs to watch for ... about these signs, He says ‘do not be alarmed, for such things MUST HAPPEN ...’(Matthew 24:6-8) He calls these signs ‘birth pains’ of what is to come but then warns ‘You must be on your guard ... on account of me you will stand before governors and kings as witnesses to them.’ This verse is what lead me to call my Congressmen, as I know we are being asked to maintain our witness of Him ... Some day, it WILL matter.
I don’t know what you know about this subject of ‘End Times’ (the Bible calls it End of the Age), but it should not be scary or troublesome to those who know the Word ... if you are afraid or confused, I encourage you to READ!!! ... The ‘End of the Age’ is referring to an end of a sinful, troubled, broken world AND THE BEGINNING of a world FULLY restored, as God originally intended it to be for those who have asked Jesus into their hearts and whose sins have been covered by His forgiving blood ... Imagine a world where we will walk and talk with God and Jesus, along with all the other Believers in Christ ... An Earth fully restored ... relationships fully restored ... bodies fully restored ... I'm beginning to wonder if that is what God was speaking to me when He kept saying to me 'fully restored' all through David's illness ... Revelation 21 describes it as having, 'no more death or mourning or crying or pain for the old order of things has passed away!' Can you imagine!! Oh, how my heart says 'YES!' For the sake of time (we don’t have much!), skip the multiple commentaries available out there on End Times and just go directly to what Jesus has to say about it in the Gospels (Matthew, Mark, Luke & John) ... If we would just read Jesus’ words, the ultimate source for truth, we will find the HOPE and the PEACE I know that many of us are seeking in these times of chaos and unknowns ... Regardless of where you stand in the healthcare debate, did you ever think that you would see a day when the elected officials in our free America would blatantly force a piece of legislation through, regardless of public opinion? Jesus did. These times are not a surprise to God and I have to chuckle as I picture the chaos in the halls of Congress, throughout their offices and in those ‘back rooms’ where deals were being made, compared to God sitting quietly, peacefully on His throne! Not only does this not surprise Him, but He knows that such things must happen.
Hopelessness is a disease of the heart and something that even we Believers need to be cautious about, especially in these times when many things will be stolen from us ... please know that everything is just a distraction to what satan is really after ... Our hope and belief in a God that saves! In Matthew, Jesus warns us in verse 10, ‘at that time [when signs of the end of age start to appear] many will TURN AWAY FROM THEIR FAITH and will betray and hate each other (does that sound like any of this healthcare drama to anyone else?!) ... because of the increase of wickedness, the love of MOST will grow cold, but he who stands firm to the end will be saved.’ He even goes as far to say that ‘if these days had not been cut short [inferring that they will be cut short, Come Jesus COME!], NO ONE would survive, but for the sake of the elect, those days will be numbered.’ That is how intense the times ahead are going to be ... Only because of God’s mercy on us, will we even survive this! THAT is the truth we need to be focusing on!
Friends, these verses are speaking to Believers, not unbelievers ... those WITH faith will turn away ... in these times, MANY will turn from their faith and I believe it’s because of hopelessness. Please guard your faith, as being more precious than gold!! I believe that more chaos is on the horizon and many will start questioning God’s goodness and/or His ability/power to intervene ... remember, it is satan’s ultimate goal. Personally, I know many Christians struggling with what’s going on in their lives and in the nation and are VERY close to turning away from their faith ... even use me as an example ... I considered myself a solid believer in Christ and I can personally testify of how hopelessness played a huge role in my questions and nearly turning away from my God. It is only by the grace of God that He has shown me that my circumstances do not define Him and are merely a distraction to what is really going on ... that satan was attempting to steal my faith and belief in a good God that loves and saves ... Hopelessness is a tool of the devil and you must be aware! It often starts with questions and doubts that we are too afraid to take to God, as if He does not know we are already thinking them! Satan jumps right in with his tools of fear, shame, control, offense, anger ... or maybe we just grow so tired of fighting that we turn apathetic and/or complacent, which is almost as bad because we actually think we’re ok ... If we are not careful, before long our hearts have grown hard and we turn away altogether ... Guard yourself!! Take all your concerns and fears directly to the Throne as soon as they surface and just lay it all out for Him ... As ugly as that can be! God wants purity, not perfection! Ask Him to show Himself! Call out to Him! Those who hope in the Lord will not be disappointed! (Isaiah 49:23)
Wherever you are, whatever your circumstance, know that satan intends to use it to destroy you and if he can't destroy you, he wants to destroy your faith and belief that God is real, that He is good, that He loves you and that He is coming again for those who believe!
For those out there already on this ‘cuckoo bus’ with me, please join me in keeping fellow Believers focused on the truths of the Word. The world can be consuming and distracting!! Let’s be careful of what we speak out of our own fear or doubt, as it could lead someone from their walk with the Lord, or discourage a relationship with Jesus all together. We must be constantly seeking the truths in the Word so that we can always be pointing to all the promises intended for us ... pointing to Christ and keeping our eyes upward ... there is so much to look forward to!!!!!!!!
After this day of chaos, this evening my sister and I were ‘signing off’ our text to each other and what she said was a perfect example of the Hope Christ offers ... She said, ‘How great is our God! I praise Him that I can go to sleep in peace despite what things look like.’ Amen! Amen! If you do not know this Peace that passes all understanding ... The Peace that comes from a Hope eternal ... The Peace that comes from knowing a BIG God ... that crazy Peace which is Christ Jesus (Phil 4:7) ... maybe the promise of a much needed good night's sleep (for tonight and through eternity) will be what tempts you to ask ... whatever it takes, PLEASE ask Him for it, Friend ... while the richest of kings can not afford the current price of peace in this world, it is free and abundant in God’s Opposite World!
JOIN ME! In the Opposite World, rest is AMAZING ... in the arms of my Lord!
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Friday, January 29, 2010
Quest for the 'Opposite World'
This afternoon, I happened upon the movie ‘Sleepless in Seattle’ ... Do you remember that movie? I didn’t remember the reason why Tom Hanks was ‘looking for a new wife’, but even as the details filled in and it hit so close to home, for some reason I couldn’t turn it off. The overall premise is that a man suddenly looses his wife to cancer and is left with just his young son to raise. At some point in the movie, though, his little boy asks him if he believes in Heaven and his Dad answers ‘I don’t know. I never really thought about it before now. I’m not sure what I believe.’
I just can not imagine going through all that we have been through without God and His promise of Heaven ... not KNOWING that Jesus defeated death so that we can live in the promise of some day being with David again, in His presence ... Not knowing how to answer the kids questions and tearful moments with that promise ... Not having hope ... Not knowing truth. I can not imagine it. The thought just puts a knot in my stomach and a lump in my throat. How much more intense would the pain be without that promise ... Without knowing ... I can almost feel the panic behind the thought ... the anger that would be there ... the confusion ... the frustration ... the fear. The darkness in the thought is so overwhelming that I had to put Praise music on just to keep it from taking it over my head and drawing me down.
But then the thought turned a different direction ... I started to cry out for all of the people out there that truly never give Heaven a thought, or maybe who are only faced with the question when it’s too late for their loved one or when they are too angry to care. Occasionally some situation may pop up that makes them stop to ask the surface question, but then all too quickly it’s whisked away in confusion or maybe in offense or in the busyness of life that makes it seem like an irrelevant ‘what if’.
How often do you visit your ‘what ifs’? ... Do you know what you think? Have you ever thought about it? What DO you believe or WHY do you believe it? If your kids/grandkids/neighbors/co-workers/spouse were to ask about Heaven, do you know what you would say? I have found that satan likes to hide in those ‘what ifs’, which should be our sign that there's something of value there ... he has a lot to gain or lose at those vulnerable moments that are often crossroads in our faith walk ... as we decide in which direction to continue. But the ‘what ifs’ are important to visit as we can actually learn a lot about our hearts at those intersections ... our priorities ... our fears ... how big we think our God is.
I recently started reading Randy Alcorn’s book ‘Heaven’ ... Just needed to. He points out how little is taught about Heaven and how much satan works to keep it that way. After all, imagine what would happen if we were all to start thinking about it ... looking forward to it ... or heaven-forbid (pun intended) we actually started to live as if there will be a Heaven like the Bible teaches, with rewards and blessings to be handed out ... how much would that change the way we live? Imagine what such thinking would do to the kingdom of darkness!?!? What if we viewed Heaven at the same level as our work and maybe even considered it our chance for the ultimate, eternal ‘promotion’, being decided of course by our love for Jesus, His Word and His people ... How much would that change where we invest our time and money here and now? (This used to stress me out until I realized the good news that there’s a higher position for EVERYONE WHO WANTS ONE!!!)
The question that begs to be asked is ‘If we do believe what we believe, why don’t we live like we believe it?’
Do we live like we believe God is who He says He is or that God can do what He says He can do? Do we believe that God is the same God now as the God who raised Jesus from the dead? Do we live like Jesus was even raised from the dead, in the victory of a Risen Savior!?! Even though satan has done a good job of making it all so irrelevant in our busy world of ‘self’, what if we were to start living in God’s ‘opposite’ world NOW, instead of just visiting it from time-to-time on those ‘good days’.
2 Peter 1:4 says ‘He has given us His very great and precious promises [the Word] so that through them you may participate in the DIVINE NATURE [God’s opposite world] and escape the corruption in the world caused by evil doers’ ... Did you know we can ESCAPE this crazy world NOW, if we would just READ AND FOLLOW his promises outlined in His Word!! That may seem like a ‘dah’ moment, but let it sink in a minute ... it’s the last thing satan wants us to get, so he does his best to throw in a lot of confusion on things that should really matter to us. For example, what if we really did value faith as being more precious than gold (1Peter 1:7)? I’m actually thinking about buying gold right now, so I'm finding out how expensive it really is. People steal gold ... they guard and insure gold ... people have been KILLED over gold ... If we valued our faith as being MORE precious than gold, what would we do to seek it? Would we value the trials that the Bible says increase our faith?
What if we really did consider the Words of Jesus as our bread and water (John 6:35) ... I’m not saying in place of food, as God created our bodies in this world to obviously need physical food (PRAISE GOD!), but what if we went to His Word as MUCH as we eat or drink, or held it in as high of a PRIORITY as what we put into our mouth?! (hey, when I want a Dew, nothing much keeps me from it!) Can you imagine being as determined to get into the Word three times a day (or more) as we are about eating?
As we seek our eternal promotion, what if we really believed the words ‘the least will become the greatest’ and worked as hard to be ‘the least’ in our families, our friendships, or our work places ... putting other’s needs before our own knowing that in Heaven that heart is rewarded ... What if? It doesn’t have to be something as big as giving up that big sale to a co-worker who needs the money more than you, but it could start with letting your spouse have the last word in a decision ... or letting someone pull into that parking space before you rush to it ... or opening the door for the person running into post office after you, even though you are in a hurry to get through the line, too. Have you ever done that ... the speed walk to beat someone in line? Guilty! What if we were to open the door for them instead and give God the glory when they look at you quizzically when they pass you by :)
I’m finding that God’s ‘opposite’ world has it’s own currency, it’s own nourishment, it’s own rules, it’s own goals and it’s own rewards ... and you know what ... they never change on you!! My big frustration with this world is that I’m always investing my time and/or money in something short-lived or unfulfilling ... everything is always changing and as soon as I invest in something, it looses value and/or I’m left being disappointed. Tell me I'm not the only one who is tired of investing in things that lose value! Jesus taught using the lilies of the field as an example of how God takes perfect care of His creation in His opposite world ... He then warns us by saying ‘do not set your heart on what you will eat or drink; do not worry about it. For the PAGAN WORLD [this world] runs after all such things, and your Father knows that you need them. But seek his kingdom [His opposite world], and these things will be given to you as well.’ (Luke 12:29-31)
Now that’s my kind of world!
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I just can not imagine going through all that we have been through without God and His promise of Heaven ... not KNOWING that Jesus defeated death so that we can live in the promise of some day being with David again, in His presence ... Not knowing how to answer the kids questions and tearful moments with that promise ... Not having hope ... Not knowing truth. I can not imagine it. The thought just puts a knot in my stomach and a lump in my throat. How much more intense would the pain be without that promise ... Without knowing ... I can almost feel the panic behind the thought ... the anger that would be there ... the confusion ... the frustration ... the fear. The darkness in the thought is so overwhelming that I had to put Praise music on just to keep it from taking it over my head and drawing me down.
But then the thought turned a different direction ... I started to cry out for all of the people out there that truly never give Heaven a thought, or maybe who are only faced with the question when it’s too late for their loved one or when they are too angry to care. Occasionally some situation may pop up that makes them stop to ask the surface question, but then all too quickly it’s whisked away in confusion or maybe in offense or in the busyness of life that makes it seem like an irrelevant ‘what if’.
How often do you visit your ‘what ifs’? ... Do you know what you think? Have you ever thought about it? What DO you believe or WHY do you believe it? If your kids/grandkids/neighbors/co-workers/spouse were to ask about Heaven, do you know what you would say? I have found that satan likes to hide in those ‘what ifs’, which should be our sign that there's something of value there ... he has a lot to gain or lose at those vulnerable moments that are often crossroads in our faith walk ... as we decide in which direction to continue. But the ‘what ifs’ are important to visit as we can actually learn a lot about our hearts at those intersections ... our priorities ... our fears ... how big we think our God is.
I recently started reading Randy Alcorn’s book ‘Heaven’ ... Just needed to. He points out how little is taught about Heaven and how much satan works to keep it that way. After all, imagine what would happen if we were all to start thinking about it ... looking forward to it ... or heaven-forbid (pun intended) we actually started to live as if there will be a Heaven like the Bible teaches, with rewards and blessings to be handed out ... how much would that change the way we live? Imagine what such thinking would do to the kingdom of darkness!?!? What if we viewed Heaven at the same level as our work and maybe even considered it our chance for the ultimate, eternal ‘promotion’, being decided of course by our love for Jesus, His Word and His people ... How much would that change where we invest our time and money here and now? (This used to stress me out until I realized the good news that there’s a higher position for EVERYONE WHO WANTS ONE!!!)
The question that begs to be asked is ‘If we do believe what we believe, why don’t we live like we believe it?’
Do we live like we believe God is who He says He is or that God can do what He says He can do? Do we believe that God is the same God now as the God who raised Jesus from the dead? Do we live like Jesus was even raised from the dead, in the victory of a Risen Savior!?! Even though satan has done a good job of making it all so irrelevant in our busy world of ‘self’, what if we were to start living in God’s ‘opposite’ world NOW, instead of just visiting it from time-to-time on those ‘good days’.
2 Peter 1:4 says ‘He has given us His very great and precious promises [the Word] so that through them you may participate in the DIVINE NATURE [God’s opposite world] and escape the corruption in the world caused by evil doers’ ... Did you know we can ESCAPE this crazy world NOW, if we would just READ AND FOLLOW his promises outlined in His Word!! That may seem like a ‘dah’ moment, but let it sink in a minute ... it’s the last thing satan wants us to get, so he does his best to throw in a lot of confusion on things that should really matter to us. For example, what if we really did value faith as being more precious than gold (1Peter 1:7)? I’m actually thinking about buying gold right now, so I'm finding out how expensive it really is. People steal gold ... they guard and insure gold ... people have been KILLED over gold ... If we valued our faith as being MORE precious than gold, what would we do to seek it? Would we value the trials that the Bible says increase our faith?
What if we really did consider the Words of Jesus as our bread and water (John 6:35) ... I’m not saying in place of food, as God created our bodies in this world to obviously need physical food (PRAISE GOD!), but what if we went to His Word as MUCH as we eat or drink, or held it in as high of a PRIORITY as what we put into our mouth?! (hey, when I want a Dew, nothing much keeps me from it!) Can you imagine being as determined to get into the Word three times a day (or more) as we are about eating?
As we seek our eternal promotion, what if we really believed the words ‘the least will become the greatest’ and worked as hard to be ‘the least’ in our families, our friendships, or our work places ... putting other’s needs before our own knowing that in Heaven that heart is rewarded ... What if? It doesn’t have to be something as big as giving up that big sale to a co-worker who needs the money more than you, but it could start with letting your spouse have the last word in a decision ... or letting someone pull into that parking space before you rush to it ... or opening the door for the person running into post office after you, even though you are in a hurry to get through the line, too. Have you ever done that ... the speed walk to beat someone in line? Guilty! What if we were to open the door for them instead and give God the glory when they look at you quizzically when they pass you by :)
I’m finding that God’s ‘opposite’ world has it’s own currency, it’s own nourishment, it’s own rules, it’s own goals and it’s own rewards ... and you know what ... they never change on you!! My big frustration with this world is that I’m always investing my time and/or money in something short-lived or unfulfilling ... everything is always changing and as soon as I invest in something, it looses value and/or I’m left being disappointed. Tell me I'm not the only one who is tired of investing in things that lose value! Jesus taught using the lilies of the field as an example of how God takes perfect care of His creation in His opposite world ... He then warns us by saying ‘do not set your heart on what you will eat or drink; do not worry about it. For the PAGAN WORLD [this world] runs after all such things, and your Father knows that you need them. But seek his kingdom [His opposite world], and these things will be given to you as well.’ (Luke 12:29-31)
Now that’s my kind of world!
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